all i ever needed to know, i learned from rankin and bass
I must confess that I am so very confused. I have read all about this thing called global warming, and I was starting to see the light. I was almost ready to go out and see Al Gore's flick, and to invest all of my meager savings into the Bermuda Shorts market, when all of a sudden, it got cold! Real cold! The State of California just lost 75% of its orange crops during this cold wave. Snow and ice and arctic temperatures have killed people and damaged property all over the country. Central Indiana will get 3 inches of snow this weekend, and "The Region" (northwestern Indiana) will get hit a lot worse due to the "lake effect." Was Brother Love wrong? Are we entering a period of global cooling?
As I ponder this whole issue of climate, our impact on it and it's impact on us, it suddenly hits me. The TRUTH is contained, not in a sci-fi flick from the 21st Century produced by a failed presidential candidate, but in a wildly popular Christmas TV special from 1974. The truth can be found in the Rankin and Bass production The Year Without a Santa Clause! I'm sure that all of you remember that show with great fondness. This classic animated production told the story of how Santa Clause had a bad cold and decided to take a break from Christmas. Two of his elves, Jingle Bells and Jangle Bells, decided to go out with Vixen to find children to convince Santa that the Christmas spirit is still important to everybody else. But first (and this is the important part) they have to get past the Heat Miser and the Snow Miser before they land in Southtown, USA, where it never snows for Christmas. The Miser brothers can't agree to let it snow in Southtown, so Mrs. Clause intervenes with their mom--Mother Nature. That's it! This whole tug of war over the climate is, in reality, a struggle for control between Heat Miser and Snow Miser. During this past summer and fall, Heat Miser was in control.
I'm Mister Green Christmas,
I'm Mister Sun.
I'm Mister Heat Blister.
I'm Mister Hundred and One.
They call me Heat Miser.
What ever I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch.
I'm too much!
As we have progressed through the month of January, Heat Miser's brother--Snow Miser-- has begun to exert his control.
I'm Mister White Christmas,
I'm Mister Snow.
I'm Mister Icicle,
I'm Mister Ten Below.
Friends call me Snow Miser.
Whatever I touch
Turns to snow in my clutch.
I'm too much!
You see, all of the liberal worshippers of Al Gore's Church of Global Warming (also known as Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show) have overlooked the simple truth that Mrs. Clause and Mother Nature were able to convince the two brothers to share! Heat Miser controls the climate during the summer, Snow Miser controls the climate during the winter, and they play back and forth during the other two seasons just for fun. Aren't you glad that you visited this site so that you could be educated about the truth? And isn't it nice to know that truth can be found in the clay-mation characters of Rankin and Bass?
Of course, all of you seekers-of-salvation who have latched on to Al Gore won't be a bit happy to see the truth as I have layed it out for you. You might even be a little bit resentful of the fact that I used happy-happy song lyrics to prove my point. As a peace offering to you, I offer the following Neil Diamond lyrics from his song about Al Gore and his Global Warming flock:
Hot August night
And the leaves hanging down
And the grass on the ground smelling sweet
Move up the road
To the outside of town
And the sound of that good gospel beat
Sits a ragged tent
Where there ain't no trees
And that gospel group
Telling you and me
It's Love
Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show
Pack up the babies
Grab the old ladies
Everyone goes
Everyone knows
Brother Love's show
Room gets suddenly still
And when you'd almost bet
You could hear yourself sweat, he walks in
Eyes black as coal
And when he lifts his face
Every ear in the place is on him
Starting soft and slow
Like a small earthquake
And when he lets go
Half the valley shakes
It's Love, Love
Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show
Pack up the babies
Grab the old ladies
Everyone goes
Everyone knows
Brother Love's show
Sermon
Take my hand in yours
Walk with me this day
In my heart, I know
I will never stray
Halle, halle, halle, halle, halle, halle, halle
It's Love, Love
Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show
Pack up the babies
Grab the old ladies
Everyone goes
Everyone knows
Brother Love's show
Amen!
As I ponder this whole issue of climate, our impact on it and it's impact on us, it suddenly hits me. The TRUTH is contained, not in a sci-fi flick from the 21st Century produced by a failed presidential candidate, but in a wildly popular Christmas TV special from 1974. The truth can be found in the Rankin and Bass production The Year Without a Santa Clause! I'm sure that all of you remember that show with great fondness. This classic animated production told the story of how Santa Clause had a bad cold and decided to take a break from Christmas. Two of his elves, Jingle Bells and Jangle Bells, decided to go out with Vixen to find children to convince Santa that the Christmas spirit is still important to everybody else. But first (and this is the important part) they have to get past the Heat Miser and the Snow Miser before they land in Southtown, USA, where it never snows for Christmas. The Miser brothers can't agree to let it snow in Southtown, so Mrs. Clause intervenes with their mom--Mother Nature. That's it! This whole tug of war over the climate is, in reality, a struggle for control between Heat Miser and Snow Miser. During this past summer and fall, Heat Miser was in control.
I'm Mister Green Christmas,
I'm Mister Sun.
I'm Mister Heat Blister.
I'm Mister Hundred and One.
They call me Heat Miser.
What ever I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch.
I'm too much!
As we have progressed through the month of January, Heat Miser's brother--Snow Miser-- has begun to exert his control.
I'm Mister White Christmas,
I'm Mister Snow.
I'm Mister Icicle,
I'm Mister Ten Below.
Friends call me Snow Miser.
Whatever I touch
Turns to snow in my clutch.
I'm too much!
You see, all of the liberal worshippers of Al Gore's Church of Global Warming (also known as Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show) have overlooked the simple truth that Mrs. Clause and Mother Nature were able to convince the two brothers to share! Heat Miser controls the climate during the summer, Snow Miser controls the climate during the winter, and they play back and forth during the other two seasons just for fun. Aren't you glad that you visited this site so that you could be educated about the truth? And isn't it nice to know that truth can be found in the clay-mation characters of Rankin and Bass?
Of course, all of you seekers-of-salvation who have latched on to Al Gore won't be a bit happy to see the truth as I have layed it out for you. You might even be a little bit resentful of the fact that I used happy-happy song lyrics to prove my point. As a peace offering to you, I offer the following Neil Diamond lyrics from his song about Al Gore and his Global Warming flock:
Hot August night
And the leaves hanging down
And the grass on the ground smelling sweet
Move up the road
To the outside of town
And the sound of that good gospel beat
Sits a ragged tent
Where there ain't no trees
And that gospel group
Telling you and me
It's Love
Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show
Pack up the babies
Grab the old ladies
Everyone goes
Everyone knows
Brother Love's show
Room gets suddenly still
And when you'd almost bet
You could hear yourself sweat, he walks in
Eyes black as coal
And when he lifts his face
Every ear in the place is on him
Starting soft and slow
Like a small earthquake
And when he lets go
Half the valley shakes
It's Love, Love
Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show
Pack up the babies
Grab the old ladies
Everyone goes
Everyone knows
Brother Love's show
Sermon
Take my hand in yours
Walk with me this day
In my heart, I know
I will never stray
Halle, halle, halle, halle, halle, halle, halle
It's Love, Love
Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show
Pack up the babies
Grab the old ladies
Everyone goes
Everyone knows
Brother Love's show
Amen!
posted by hondo at 9:22 PM
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