the liberal bill of rights
Clearly the modern liberal, AKA the secular progressive, has no use for the Bill of Rights as written by our Founding Fathers. After much investigation, I have been able to put together the Modern Liberal Bill of Rights, which modern liberalism is attempting to ram down our throats through judicial activism. Read and enjoy!
Amendment 1--The Supreme Court shall allow no expression of Christianity in the public square, particularly in schools or government buildings. Congress shall strictly regulate political speech and participation by "we the people," but shall give the drive-by media the right to commit treason. Congress hasn't made up its mind yet on peaceful assembly. We'll get back to you.
Amendment 2--Guns are evil, and an abomination to all peace-loving hippie-freaks left over from the 60's. Guns shall be banned.
Amendment 3--No soldier may be quartered overseas for the purpose of defending our national security. It is OK, however, to bomb aspirin factories for the purpose of deflecting attention away from presidential felonies.
Amendment 4--Islamofascist terrorists may not be profiled, surveilled, searched, seized, or be made to fell uncomfortable in any way. It is OK, however, for jack-booted federal storm troopers to kick down the door of a peaceful family in the middle of the night in order to send a peaceful little boy back to the loving care of Fidel Castro. Even if the boy doesn't want to go.
Amendment 5--Liberals may lie to grand juries if they wish. That's called "due process." Conservatives may be deprived of life, liberty or property without due process of law if they make liberals really angry.
Amendment 6--If you are a murderer, a rapist, a child molester, a traitor to the United States, or an Islamofascist terrorist, you are entitled to the O.J. Legal Defense Dream Team at taxpayer expense, unless you are a white male. Then you must burn in hell.
Amendment 7--Anyone mentioned in Amendment 6 (except for white males) has the right to the jury that is most likely to acquit.
Amendment 8--Cruel and unusual punishment is defined as anything which makes one of our 6th Amendment All-Stars the least bit uncomfortable, and it is prohibited.
Amendment 9--The Supreme Court has the power to add or subtract from this list at any time, so long as the Church of Liberalism gives approval.
Amendment 10--The states, and the citizens of those states, have no rights except for those created and defined by liberal activist judges.
Amendment 1--The Supreme Court shall allow no expression of Christianity in the public square, particularly in schools or government buildings. Congress shall strictly regulate political speech and participation by "we the people," but shall give the drive-by media the right to commit treason. Congress hasn't made up its mind yet on peaceful assembly. We'll get back to you.
Amendment 2--Guns are evil, and an abomination to all peace-loving hippie-freaks left over from the 60's. Guns shall be banned.
Amendment 3--No soldier may be quartered overseas for the purpose of defending our national security. It is OK, however, to bomb aspirin factories for the purpose of deflecting attention away from presidential felonies.
Amendment 4--Islamofascist terrorists may not be profiled, surveilled, searched, seized, or be made to fell uncomfortable in any way. It is OK, however, for jack-booted federal storm troopers to kick down the door of a peaceful family in the middle of the night in order to send a peaceful little boy back to the loving care of Fidel Castro. Even if the boy doesn't want to go.
Amendment 5--Liberals may lie to grand juries if they wish. That's called "due process." Conservatives may be deprived of life, liberty or property without due process of law if they make liberals really angry.
Amendment 6--If you are a murderer, a rapist, a child molester, a traitor to the United States, or an Islamofascist terrorist, you are entitled to the O.J. Legal Defense Dream Team at taxpayer expense, unless you are a white male. Then you must burn in hell.
Amendment 7--Anyone mentioned in Amendment 6 (except for white males) has the right to the jury that is most likely to acquit.
Amendment 8--Cruel and unusual punishment is defined as anything which makes one of our 6th Amendment All-Stars the least bit uncomfortable, and it is prohibited.
Amendment 9--The Supreme Court has the power to add or subtract from this list at any time, so long as the Church of Liberalism gives approval.
Amendment 10--The states, and the citizens of those states, have no rights except for those created and defined by liberal activist judges.
posted by hondo at 11:01 AM
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